Monday, February 16, 2015

When They Don't Want To Be Your Friend

We've all been there.  Someone just does not want to be our friend.  Oh, sure, we've tried to connect with them.  But it just doesn't work out.

Maybe we've never been able to click with that person, even though we've attempted many times.  Or maybe we used to be close to that someone, but then something happened, and they no longer want anything to do with us.  Either way, it hurts when this happens.

It especially bothers those of us who are more relational in nature.  We're the ones that want to get along with people, and we want folks to like us.  Relationships matter to us.  When we connect with someone, it feels great.  But when we are disconnected, for any reason, it feels terrible. 

What do we do when they just don't want to be friends?

Here's what I think...

[1]  Accept the fact that it's part of life.  There always be some people who will not share a bond with us.  It's an inevitable part of life.  Even Jesus Christ, who never did anything wrong, had this happen to Him.  In John 1:11 we read, "He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him."  Did you see that?  Jesus, who created us and came here to save us, was rejected by some people too.  Unfortunately, it's just part of life for everyone.  The sooner we accept the fact that some people will not like us in this life, the better off we will be.  That's not to be pessimistic or negative.  Far from it.  It just prepares us for how the world is, gives us more realistic expectations, and protects us from disappointment.

[2]  Thank God for the time when they were our friends.  Some friendships come and go.  They last for a season of our lives.  When we lose one of these relationships, it's helpful to express our gratitude to God for the season of life that we were able to enjoy that person.  Those bright, positive moments we did enjoy with that someone were blessings from God.  And, at that time, they did make our lives a little better.  So even though that relationship has come to an end, we can still be thankful for good experiences we did enjoy.

[3]  Wish them well.  Whether we were able to connect with them or not, it's a good thing to wish the best for those who just don't want to be our friends.  Instead of being bitter or hateful towards them in our hearts, let's think good thoughts and whisper positive prayers.  We can ask God to bless them, protect them, and meet all of their needs.  Even though they may not know we're wishing them well, it's still a good way to minister to them from a distance, and it protects us from developing a grudge or angry heart towards them. 

[4]  Remember we always have a friend in The Lord.  When we ask Jesus Christ to forgive our sins and save our souls, we are blessed to enter into a relationship with The Lord.  He is loving and loyal.  He faithfully sticks with us.  In Proverbs 18:24 we read, "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  Isn't that a great verse?!  The Lord is a friend to us, and He remains tighter with us than a blood brother.  Now that's a good connection to have.  It's available to you and me through Jesus Christ.  And there is no relationship you or I can find anywhere that is better than that one.   

I know it can hurt when they don't want to be your friend.  That's not easy to handle at times.  But remember these truths.  Let God help you put your pain in perspective.  And, by His grace, you'll be able to move on with your life into a brighter, better future. 

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