I was a pastor for 16 years.
Currently, I am not.
When I was a pastor, all I did was hang out with church people. That was the bubble in which I lived. Nothing else outside of church mattered much to me.
Then I stepped out of pastoral ministry. I still went to church on Sundays. But during the week I began working regular jobs and spending much more time around unchurched people.
I began to see the way those outside the church felt and talked about those inside the church.
Do you know what I learned? They don't care about A LOT of things that church people get worked up over. They really don't.
They don't care if you use Lifeway materials or some other brand.
They don't care if you wear a suit or jeans to worship on Sunday.
They don't care if you prefer AWANA or RA's and GA's.
They don't care if you put your offering in the middle or the end of the service.
They don't care if you sing the doxology.
See my point? The things I've seen church people get all worked up over really don't matter to those who are outside the church. Not much at all.
The reason this is important is simple: Jesus called us to reach those people who are outside the church.
I've realize that people outside the church care about things like...
1) Will you welcome and accept me in your church?
2) Will you live during the week what you talk about on Sunday?
3) Will you show me practical ways that God is relevant to my every day life?
4) Will you be real and authentic with me?
5) Will you let me ask you questions and express my doubts?
6) Will you constantly preach about what you are AGAINST, or will you tell me what God is FOR?
See my point? Folks outside the church are thinking about things very different from what church people obsess and even fight over. It's a different world out there, folks.
I know this: If God ever lets me step back into pastoral ministry, I'll focus on things a lot more important than what I used to care about. I'll focus on preaching Jesus, loving people, and reaching out to those who are hurting. I've got a feeling and a hunch that's what ought to be happening inside the church anyway...
Friday, November 15, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
When You See Them Wander
It happens. People sometimes wander away from God and their convictions. In the process, they make a real mess of things.
When you see people do this, here is how you can respond....
1) Stay humble. Remember you are no better than them. We all are sinners and we all are capable of wandering away. So don't get cocky and say, "I would never do what he did!", because you don't know that for sure.
2) Pray, and then pray some more. Ask God to grab their attention and change their heart. Ask God to rescue that one who is caught up in sin and not thinking right. And don't give up on praying. Just keep lifting that person up to the Lord. Amazing things happen when people pray.
3) Reach out in love. Contact that person, and let them know you still care about them. Obviously, you don't like the sin. But you should still like the sinner. Tell them you are concerned. Tell them you are willing to help them make changes. Just go after them and try to help.
4) Celebrate their changes. When they come back to the Lord and get their life back on track, be happy for them. Rejoice! One of your brothers or sisters has returned, and that's a wonderful thing.
5) Be their friend. People who wander away and then return do need relationships, just like you do. They need people who care about them. So if at all possible, be a friend to them and give them some of your time. That will be a wonderful gift they treasure
May God help us handle properly those who wander away...
When you see people do this, here is how you can respond....
1) Stay humble. Remember you are no better than them. We all are sinners and we all are capable of wandering away. So don't get cocky and say, "I would never do what he did!", because you don't know that for sure.
2) Pray, and then pray some more. Ask God to grab their attention and change their heart. Ask God to rescue that one who is caught up in sin and not thinking right. And don't give up on praying. Just keep lifting that person up to the Lord. Amazing things happen when people pray.
3) Reach out in love. Contact that person, and let them know you still care about them. Obviously, you don't like the sin. But you should still like the sinner. Tell them you are concerned. Tell them you are willing to help them make changes. Just go after them and try to help.
4) Celebrate their changes. When they come back to the Lord and get their life back on track, be happy for them. Rejoice! One of your brothers or sisters has returned, and that's a wonderful thing.
5) Be their friend. People who wander away and then return do need relationships, just like you do. They need people who care about them. So if at all possible, be a friend to them and give them some of your time. That will be a wonderful gift they treasure
May God help us handle properly those who wander away...
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
When You Hit Rock Bottom
When you mess up and hit rock bottom, remember these things...
(1). You're not the first person to make a mistake. Lots of people messed up before you did, and lots more will do the same after you're gone. It happens. Everyone has some bad days. Read the Bible and you'll see story after story of people who royally blew it. The world is full of sinners. So don't think you're the first one, or the only one, to make a mess of things.
(2). You're about to find out who your real friends are. It's easy for people to like you and hang out with you when you're doing well and riding high. But when you hit rock bottom, just accept the fact that some folks will disappear from your life and have nothing more to do with you. They will declare your life too messy and your sin too bad. And they will no longer reach out to you or spend time with you. It's sad. It's wrong. But it happens. Your real friends will stay with you. Just be thankful for those who stick around, and invest in those relationships. It's a good thing to have people who stick with you through thick and thin. Hold on to them!
(3). You're in a position to learn now. When you hit rock bottom, let it be a time to grow in wisdom for your future. Learn from your mistakes. Figure out what to do different down the road. Ask God to teach you how to do a better job in the days, months, and years to come.
(4). You're not done. God still has a life for you to live. There are people for you to love, projects for you to complete, areas for you to serve, and places for you to go. No, your life is not over. There are still things for you to do, and differences for you to make.
(5). You're loved by God. On your worst day, you still are precious to Him. God's love is unconditional. It will be there regardless of what you do right or wrong. As someone once said, "There's nothing you can ever do to make Him love you less. Nothing". Some people may not care for you anymore; however, God loves you tons and bunches. And there's not a thing you can do to change that.
(6). You're supposed to forgive yourself. There's no need to beat yourself up forever. Once you've felt the shame and learned the lesson, you need to let it go. Don't keep punishing yourself. When God forgives you, it's over. So forgive yourself and move on. Leave the past in the past.
If you or someone you know is at rock bottom, hold on to these truths.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
A Heart Filled With Thanks
If you have a roof over your head ... Give Thanks.
If you have food to eat and water to drink ... Give Thanks.
If you have clothes you can wear ... Give Thanks.
If you have at least one friend or family member who loves you ... Give Thanks.
If you have God's amazing grace poured into your soul ... Give Thanks.
Be grateful for the basic, fundamental blessings of life.
If you have these things, you are fortunate.
If you have food to eat and water to drink ... Give Thanks.
If you have clothes you can wear ... Give Thanks.
If you have at least one friend or family member who loves you ... Give Thanks.
If you have God's amazing grace poured into your soul ... Give Thanks.
Be grateful for the basic, fundamental blessings of life.
If you have these things, you are fortunate.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Governed By Feelings
Here is one thing I've learned: it is a mistake to be governed by feelings.
If we base all our decisions solely on how we feel, we are setting ourselves up for disaster.
Why? (1) Our feelings may not be based on what is true or right. People can lie to us or manipulate the way we feel. (2) Our feelings can change in a split second. They are not always reliable. (3) Our feelings can become misdirected when circumstances are not good. When we are tired, lonely, beat down, or suffering, we may feel like doing some things that we normally would not feel like doing.
Sometimes we may feel like doing one thing, but we have to make ourselves do something else.
I may not FEEL like exercising today, but I will go walking anyway.
I may not FEEL like apologizing to someone, but I will man up and do it anyway.
I may not FEEL like listening to someone's story, but I will be kind and hear them out anyway.
It seems to me that we all would be better off if we lived by PRINCIPLES instead of feelings. Principles are truths, guidelines, and ideals that ought to direct our lives regardless of how we may feel. Principles are right, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Examples of principles are: Be loyal. Be productive. Be forgiving. Be kind. Be good.
All I know is this: When I look back on the best decisions of my life, I ultimately followed my principles. And when I made the worst decisions of my life, I ultimately followed my feelings.
Yes, God wired us with feelings. We are emotional beings. And our feelings should be acknowledged and considered. How we feel DOES indeed matter. But, our feelings can not have the ultimate, final say in how we live. Principles handed down to us from God must be the guardrails used to direct our lives. And when we allow these principles to govern us, our lives will be much better off as a result.
If we base all our decisions solely on how we feel, we are setting ourselves up for disaster.
Why? (1) Our feelings may not be based on what is true or right. People can lie to us or manipulate the way we feel. (2) Our feelings can change in a split second. They are not always reliable. (3) Our feelings can become misdirected when circumstances are not good. When we are tired, lonely, beat down, or suffering, we may feel like doing some things that we normally would not feel like doing.
Sometimes we may feel like doing one thing, but we have to make ourselves do something else.
I may not FEEL like exercising today, but I will go walking anyway.
I may not FEEL like apologizing to someone, but I will man up and do it anyway.
I may not FEEL like listening to someone's story, but I will be kind and hear them out anyway.
It seems to me that we all would be better off if we lived by PRINCIPLES instead of feelings. Principles are truths, guidelines, and ideals that ought to direct our lives regardless of how we may feel. Principles are right, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Examples of principles are: Be loyal. Be productive. Be forgiving. Be kind. Be good.
All I know is this: When I look back on the best decisions of my life, I ultimately followed my principles. And when I made the worst decisions of my life, I ultimately followed my feelings.
Yes, God wired us with feelings. We are emotional beings. And our feelings should be acknowledged and considered. How we feel DOES indeed matter. But, our feelings can not have the ultimate, final say in how we live. Principles handed down to us from God must be the guardrails used to direct our lives. And when we allow these principles to govern us, our lives will be much better off as a result.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
The Comeback
Last night, I, along with a gazillion other people, watched with amazement as South Carolina pulled off a stunning comeback on a football field in Missouri.
The Gamecocks were losing 17-0 and nothing was going right. Mistakes were made and opportunities were blown. But then, in the 4th quarter, something happened. Something I'll never forget. Quarterback Connor Shaw led Carolina to 17 unanswered points to tie the game. Then, in dramatic fashion, the Gamecocks won the game 27-24 in double overtime.
My 8 year old son, who was sitting by me on the couch in his pajamas, went NUTS with me when it happened. We jumped around the living room, shouted "yeah!", and celebrated. We tried not to scare my wife and daughters, who were in other rooms. But we could not stop or contain our celebration!
This has me thinking....
Sometimes in life, we get behind. We make mistakes. We blow opportunities. We just royally make a mess of things.
I've done that. Big time. How about you? My guess is, we ALL have.
When that happens, it's comeback time!
If we are losing in the game of life, let's whisper a prayer to Him above, shake off the disappointment of our mistakes, start over, and press forward. Some people may think we're done and our cause is lost. But that doesn't matter. Let's think positive, dig in our heels, and get to work. Let's start doing the little things right, one by one. When that happens, the chances are good that positive results await us!
Maybe you've messed up and blown it. I know the feeling. Just remember this: your life is not over. Things can change. So keep your chin up and hang in there. Your comeback could be right around the corner, and you can still celebrate like a champ!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. When we experience a comeback, let's be mindful of those looking at us from above. They're probably rejoicing for us and celebrating with us. And my guess is that's quite a party! :)
** If you want to see a short highlight video (minute and a half) of last night's amazing comeback, just click here .
The Gamecocks were losing 17-0 and nothing was going right. Mistakes were made and opportunities were blown. But then, in the 4th quarter, something happened. Something I'll never forget. Quarterback Connor Shaw led Carolina to 17 unanswered points to tie the game. Then, in dramatic fashion, the Gamecocks won the game 27-24 in double overtime.
My 8 year old son, who was sitting by me on the couch in his pajamas, went NUTS with me when it happened. We jumped around the living room, shouted "yeah!", and celebrated. We tried not to scare my wife and daughters, who were in other rooms. But we could not stop or contain our celebration!
This has me thinking....
Sometimes in life, we get behind. We make mistakes. We blow opportunities. We just royally make a mess of things.
I've done that. Big time. How about you? My guess is, we ALL have.
When that happens, it's comeback time!
If we are losing in the game of life, let's whisper a prayer to Him above, shake off the disappointment of our mistakes, start over, and press forward. Some people may think we're done and our cause is lost. But that doesn't matter. Let's think positive, dig in our heels, and get to work. Let's start doing the little things right, one by one. When that happens, the chances are good that positive results await us!
Maybe you've messed up and blown it. I know the feeling. Just remember this: your life is not over. Things can change. So keep your chin up and hang in there. Your comeback could be right around the corner, and you can still celebrate like a champ!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. When we experience a comeback, let's be mindful of those looking at us from above. They're probably rejoicing for us and celebrating with us. And my guess is that's quite a party! :)
** If you want to see a short highlight video (minute and a half) of last night's amazing comeback, just click here .
Friday, October 25, 2013
Two Links And One Invitation
I want to quickly share a couple of links with you ...
[1] "God's Not Dead" is a film coming out next spring, and it looks like it will be worth watching. A friend pointed me to the trailer yesterday. To see the film's trailer for yourself, just click here .
[2] I have decided to join the world of Twitter. I figured I could have some fun with this. To visit my Twitter page, just click here .
Here is an invitation ...
Feel free to leave comments any time on this blog when you read a post. I'd love to hear from you. And I'll respond too. Whether you agree or disagree with what you read, it's ok. So you're invited to comment and interact with me anytime!
Thank for checking out my online home.
[1] "God's Not Dead" is a film coming out next spring, and it looks like it will be worth watching. A friend pointed me to the trailer yesterday. To see the film's trailer for yourself, just click here .
[2] I have decided to join the world of Twitter. I figured I could have some fun with this. To visit my Twitter page, just click here .
Here is an invitation ...
Feel free to leave comments any time on this blog when you read a post. I'd love to hear from you. And I'll respond too. Whether you agree or disagree with what you read, it's ok. So you're invited to comment and interact with me anytime!
Thank for checking out my online home.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
The Disappointment Of Sin
What is the wrong thing you are tempted to do right now?
The lure of sin is calling out to you. It looks harmless. It seems fun. It feels justifiable. But deep down, you know it's wrong.
Before you take the plunge and go for it with sin, remember this: it will be a massive disappointment to you in the end.
The Bible says...
Sin will not satisfy you : You may get a little happiness for a short while, but you will ultimately find yourself unfulfilled. It will be a colossal letdown and leave you with an empty feeling inside. Proverbs 13:25 says "the stomach of the wicked goes hungry."
Sin will not calm you : You may feel relaxed for a little bit, but you will inevitably deal with regret, fear, and pain. You will wish you had not done it, you will be paranoid over getting caught, and you will hurt when you have to suffer the consequences. Isaiah 48:22 says "There is no peace...for the wicked."
So, what are you temped to do right now that you know is wrong? Whatever it is, please don't do it. Just walk away and turn to God instead.
God can satisfy you. God can calm you. God can bless you in ways that sin never, ever will.
The lure of sin is calling out to you. It looks harmless. It seems fun. It feels justifiable. But deep down, you know it's wrong.
Before you take the plunge and go for it with sin, remember this: it will be a massive disappointment to you in the end.
The Bible says...
Sin will not satisfy you : You may get a little happiness for a short while, but you will ultimately find yourself unfulfilled. It will be a colossal letdown and leave you with an empty feeling inside. Proverbs 13:25 says "the stomach of the wicked goes hungry."
Sin will not calm you : You may feel relaxed for a little bit, but you will inevitably deal with regret, fear, and pain. You will wish you had not done it, you will be paranoid over getting caught, and you will hurt when you have to suffer the consequences. Isaiah 48:22 says "There is no peace...for the wicked."
So, what are you temped to do right now that you know is wrong? Whatever it is, please don't do it. Just walk away and turn to God instead.
God can satisfy you. God can calm you. God can bless you in ways that sin never, ever will.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
The Flat Tire
"give thanks in all circumstances..." 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Yesterday I was sitting in my living room and reading a great book.
My phone rang. It was my oldest daughter. She had a flat tire and she needed me to come help her. I told her I will be right there. So I got up, told my wife I had to go help our child, and I left.
I must make a confession. While I am always ready and willing to help my kids, for a moment I had some less-than-positive thoughts running through my head. Things like this: "Oh great, I just got cleaned up and now I'm going to get dirty all over again. And I was really enjoying that book." I was not upset with my daughter at all. It was not her fault. And I love that girl! I was just thinking about the not-so-favorable circumstances.
I found her, gave her my car so she could leave, and changed her tire. Then I drove it up the road to get a new tire because the old one was shot. Then, shortly after that, I was back home and on the couch relaxing.
You know what? As I sit here this morning, I am thankful. Here is why...
(1) My child was not hurt.
(2) The tire went out only a quarter of a mile from our house.
(3) She had a flat on a slow road in a neighborhood with a bunch of houses around instead of on a lonely highway with nobody around.
(4) She was able to stop the car under a shade tree that kept the hot sun off me while I changed her tire.
(5) A buddy was driving by, saw me, and gave me a hand while I was changing her tire.
(6) I was able to get the car fixed up with two new tires on the front.
(7) When she needed help, my daughter called me instead of calling someone else.
Now I can smile about the whole experience. I am thankful for several things as I reflect on the flat tire adventure. Gratitude fills my heart this morning.
The Apostle Paul wrote centuries ago to "give thanks in all circumstances". He was telling us to slow down and look for the good in things. And he was so right!
There is always something to thank God for. Always. Regardless of what is going on.
May we see the positive and lift up our gratitude to Him on this day.
Yesterday I was sitting in my living room and reading a great book.
My phone rang. It was my oldest daughter. She had a flat tire and she needed me to come help her. I told her I will be right there. So I got up, told my wife I had to go help our child, and I left.
I must make a confession. While I am always ready and willing to help my kids, for a moment I had some less-than-positive thoughts running through my head. Things like this: "Oh great, I just got cleaned up and now I'm going to get dirty all over again. And I was really enjoying that book." I was not upset with my daughter at all. It was not her fault. And I love that girl! I was just thinking about the not-so-favorable circumstances.
I found her, gave her my car so she could leave, and changed her tire. Then I drove it up the road to get a new tire because the old one was shot. Then, shortly after that, I was back home and on the couch relaxing.
You know what? As I sit here this morning, I am thankful. Here is why...
(1) My child was not hurt.
(2) The tire went out only a quarter of a mile from our house.
(3) She had a flat on a slow road in a neighborhood with a bunch of houses around instead of on a lonely highway with nobody around.
(4) She was able to stop the car under a shade tree that kept the hot sun off me while I changed her tire.
(5) A buddy was driving by, saw me, and gave me a hand while I was changing her tire.
(6) I was able to get the car fixed up with two new tires on the front.
(7) When she needed help, my daughter called me instead of calling someone else.
Now I can smile about the whole experience. I am thankful for several things as I reflect on the flat tire adventure. Gratitude fills my heart this morning.
The Apostle Paul wrote centuries ago to "give thanks in all circumstances". He was telling us to slow down and look for the good in things. And he was so right!
There is always something to thank God for. Always. Regardless of what is going on.
May we see the positive and lift up our gratitude to Him on this day.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Kitchen
Last night was a fun Friday night with my youngest daughter, Rachel. Everybody else in the family was doing things, so it was just her and me. We decided to get in the kitchen and have fun together.
I fried up some bacon and eggs. She fixed tasty biscuits. While all this was going on, I pulled out my IPad and turned on music. To make it fun for her, I let her pick out the tunes. We sang along to music that she likes and danced. We also talked and laughed a lot. It was a really special time. Then when our meal was ready, I took her by the hand and prayed with her. I thanked God for giving us a fun night together and asked God to bless our meal.
You know, it reminded me of the importance of one-on-one dad-kid time. Each child needs to feel special and loved. It's a big deal to them, and it's really good for us!
It also reminded me of the importance of getting into the world of our kids. I listened to her music. I listened to her stories. In a cool kind of way, I got to know my Rachel a little better last night. We need to listen to our kids and get to know them. That's so vital!
Goodness knows, I'm not a perfect parent. Far from it. But I'm learning. And I do love the four that God gave me.
Being in the kitchen with Rachel reminded me of what a great privilege it is to be a Dad. And with the help of God, I seek to get better at it. After all, there are not many more important things than loving and raising the kids who have been sent our way.
I fried up some bacon and eggs. She fixed tasty biscuits. While all this was going on, I pulled out my IPad and turned on music. To make it fun for her, I let her pick out the tunes. We sang along to music that she likes and danced. We also talked and laughed a lot. It was a really special time. Then when our meal was ready, I took her by the hand and prayed with her. I thanked God for giving us a fun night together and asked God to bless our meal.
You know, it reminded me of the importance of one-on-one dad-kid time. Each child needs to feel special and loved. It's a big deal to them, and it's really good for us!
It also reminded me of the importance of getting into the world of our kids. I listened to her music. I listened to her stories. In a cool kind of way, I got to know my Rachel a little better last night. We need to listen to our kids and get to know them. That's so vital!
Goodness knows, I'm not a perfect parent. Far from it. But I'm learning. And I do love the four that God gave me.
Being in the kitchen with Rachel reminded me of what a great privilege it is to be a Dad. And with the help of God, I seek to get better at it. After all, there are not many more important things than loving and raising the kids who have been sent our way.
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