A Family Of Togetherness

It was a neat moment that a lot of folks probably didn't see.

Yesterday at church, we all were singing a worship song.  God's presence could be felt in our little sanctuary in a neat way.  About halfway through the song, I noticed something.  Two senior adult ladies were standing beside one another in the choir loft.  They've been friends and known each other for years.  As they sung out together, one of them reached down and held onto the hand of the other.  They both looked at each other, smiled, and sang out, united by their hands.  There they stood, connected in friendship and Christian love.  Sharing a moment together of praising their God as one.  Experiencing a bond as sisters in Christ.  Then after a minute, the song ended, they let go of each others hands, and the service continued.  It was a neat moment for me to see.

Those two wonderful senior adult ladies unintentionally reminded me of something:  The church is to be a family of togetherness.  We are to love, comfort, and encourage one another.  We are to assure each other that we all matter.  This can be done by the holding of hands or a number of other ways.  And this is all done under the grace, protection, and leadership of our awesome Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Church can become a lot of things for people.  It's easy to lose sight of its purpose if folks aren't careful.  Because of that, may God help us all to remember who we are:  A community of faith and a family of togetherness. 

I'm sure they didn't intend for anyone to see it.  And it only lasted for about sixty seconds.  But I'm glad God let me see that special moment those two senior adult ladies shared.  It was a needed reminder that we all who make up the church should care about each other and be willing to show it one way or another.

Whatever It Took

Three of us were sitting in the living room of their little home out in the country.  The husband was asleep in his recliner.  And the wife was talking with me.  A time or two I glanced over at the poodle that was asleep in her husbands lap.  The wife noticed me looking at it and she said, "That dog really isn't supposed to be here."  Then she proceeded to tell me, "A few years ago, we had another dog.  She got pregnant.  But she also had health problems.  So one day she crawled up under the house.  One of my sons kept a close eye on her.  Then, one day, she died.  We knew that she was pregnant and something had to be done or we'd lose the puppy she was carrying.  My son quickly pulled the dead dog out from under the house.  Then he took his pocket knife and opened up her stomach.  He pulled out the unborn puppy, quickly wiped it as clean as he could, and he did CPR on it.  That dog started breathing and he lived!  This dog, on my husband's lap, is that unborn puppy which my son saved." 

That story blew me away.  What an inspiration her son was.  He did whatever it took to save that little unborn puppy who was unable to save himself.

That has me thinking about our God.  He did whatever it took to save us.  We were born with a sin problem.  Because of this sin problem, we were guilty and condemned. Also, we were bound for a hopeless eternity in Hell.  Just as that little puppy was stuck inside of his dead mother, we were stuck inside of sin.  But God, in all of His goodness, didn't leave us in that position. 

Here's what He did about it:  God sent His Son, Jesus, down here to Earth.  He was born in Bethlehem to a young lady named Mary.  Then, a little over 30 years later, God sacrificed His Son on a cross.  Why?  God allowed His own Son to suffer, bleed, and die, so that our sins could be forgiven and our souls could be saved.  In a radical series of events, our loving God did what was necessary to rescue us.  And because of this, our lives have been changed for the better.

Thanks be to our God.  He did whatever it took to save you and me.  What an awesome expression of love it was!! 

I'm pretty impressed with what the young man did to save the puppy.  But I'm far more blown away by what God did to save us.  By all means necessary, He got the job done.  Let's thank Him for doing whatever it took.  And let's honor Him with our lives as long as we are on this Earth.  What an awesome God He is!!

Sometimes, People Get On My Nerves

I find myself getting frustrated with people every now and then.

When I'm driving, I wish people would use their turn signals.  Travel would be so much simpler and the roads would be so much safer if people would simply take a second and let others know they are turning left or right.  That gets on my nerves. 

When I'm sitting in a movie theater, I wish people in front of me would quit looking at their cell phones.  The light from their phones shines right into the eyes of everyone sitting behind them.  That gets on my nerves.

When things like these happen, I find myself tensing up and wanting to vocalize my frustration.  I imagine really throwing out some verbal zingers.  But normally I just keep it to myself, shake my head, and move on.

When I calm down after a minute or two, I have to remind myself of some important truths.  And maybe if people sometimes get on your nerves, these could be helpful for you to consider too.  We all ought to keep these in mind...

#1  Everybody can be irritating at times...including us.  The older I get, the more I realize I have my own habits, quirks, and idiosyncrasies that can grate on people.  I'm just as weird as the next guy.  And before you get too smug, remember you're weird too.  Ha!  Ha!  We all are.  None of us are perfect.  All of us can be aggravating occasionally.  So let's stay humble and avoid putting ourselves above other people.

#2  Patience with others is a must.  Look, I get it.  We're emotional beings that can't help but feel frustrated at times.  That's normal.  But we still can choose to stay calm and conduct ourselves in the right way.  James 1:19 tells us "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."  Before we make matters worse by shooting off at the mouth inappropriately or blowing our stack aggressively, let's slow down, take a couple deep breaths, collect our thoughts, and maybe even whisper a prayer.  Why?  Because when we do this, we have a much better chance of reacting wisely instead of saying or doing something that we later will regret.

#3  God sets the best example.  Always remember how He deals with each of us.  Psalm 103:8 tells us, "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."  Did you catch that?  God doesn't flip out with knee-jerk reactions.  Not at all!!  He gives us time and opportunities to learn and grow.  He shows us grace.  And He loves us immensely.  That's how God handles us, and that's how we need to handle each other.

Yeah, sometimes, people get on my nerves.  And I'm pretty certain the same thing happens to you.  During those moments, let's stay humble and remember that we're not perfect either.  Let's stay calm and be patient.  And let's look to God for help in handling people the way He does.  If we do these things, we will handle stressful moments a whole lot better.

PS - But please use your turn signal when driving and stay off your phone during movies.  Ha!  Sorry, I couldn't resist.  :-)

Cremation. Ok or no way?

Because I'm a pastor, hospice chaplain, and have experience working part-time in a funeral home, I get asked about cremation quite a lot.  Some people are fond of the idea.  And others quickly reject it as an option for consideration. 

Just in case you don't know what cremation is, it is the process by which a dead person's remains are exposed to intense heat.  This process reduces the body to a pile of ashes.  Then the ashes are placed in a container and given back to the surviving family members.  At this point, the family can decide what to do with the remains.  Of course I have simplified the process in my description, but that is basically what happens.

With that in mind, I'll share a few quick thoughts on it now...

(1)  To state the obvious, the person being cremated does not know they are being cremated.  They are already deceased.  So he or she does not feel any fear, anxiety, or pain because they have already died and their soul has left their body.

(2)  On a financial note, cremation is normally a few thousand dollars cheaper than a burial.

(3)  The Bible does not address cremation.  There is no verse that calls it a sin.  And there is no verse that says it is a good thing.  Simply put, the Bible is silent on the topic.  If you're looking for a verse on cremation, you will not find one. 

(4)  Cremation ultimately comes down to your personal preference.  There is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to this.  You should do what makes you the most comfortable in this matter.  That is why I do not tell people they should or they shouldn't be cremated.  It's a personal choice, and either way is totally ok.  Do what works for you.

Ultimately, I'll say this:  I'm glad to know that in the eternal perspective, it won't matter whether we are cremated or buried.  Regardless of how we're laid to rest, we are going to get a new body in Heaven anyway.  So it won't matter if we're buried or cremated down here because we're all getting a big time upgrade in Paradise!!  1 Corinthians 15:53 tells us that these new bodies will be "imperishable" and "immortal".  Also, Revelation 21:4 tells us these new bodies will never cry, hurt, or die.  So there we have it!  If Jesus Christ is our Savior and Lord, we will have a new body in Heaven.  And a far better existence than we have down here on Earth.

Do whatever you think is right and practical when it comes to cremation or burial.  Do what you are at peace with in your heart.  And know that neither option is wrong.  It's ok either way.  Find comfort in knowing there is eternal life with God in Heaven when our time on Earth comes to an end.  And rejoice in the truth that new bodies await us all, regardless of how we died or were buried.

What a glorious, positive, safe, perfect future awaits us because of Jesus Christ!!

Jim's 8 Words Of Urgency

I was visiting my 96 year old friend, Jim.  We were sitting in his little apartment yesterday talking about life.  He was wearing khakis, a blue button up shirt, and a blue baseball hat.  On his walls were pictures of his family and an airplane he flew in World War 2.

At one point of our conversation, we were talking about time.  I asked, "Does it seem to you that time goes by faster ever year you get older?"  My elderly friend looked at me with a smile and said, "Oh yeah it does.  It flies by faster every year."  Then, he spoke the following 8 words with a sense of urgency in his voice:  "Go ahead and do whatever you gotta do."

Wow.  That hit me hard.  I've never had an older person put it to me like that.  And it made perfect sense.

James 4:14 states, "For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."  Psalm 144:4 proclaims, "Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow."  And Psalm 78:39 says, "He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again."  These three scriptures all make a similar point:  Our life on this world is brief.  It does not last long at all.  And the older we get, the more we understand that.  The years we spend here will be over much quicker than we realize.

This was Jim's message to me, which obviously was anchored in scripture:  Time flies.  So whatever important things you need to do, go ahead and get them done. 

God created each of us for a purpose.  We're here to make a difference.  And He wants us to maximize our moments.  We are to make the most of our time on this planet. 

What should you be doing with your life?  It could be any number of things.  Making your house more of a home for your family.  Comforting hurting people.  Starting a new business that your community needs.  Writing a book.  Educating young minds.  Preparing meals.  Calling people and checking on them.  Encouraging people.  The list could go on an on.  Just think on it.  What should you do with however many remaining years you have left?  Now, let me ask you another question.  Why not go ahead and get started now?

Jim's 8 words of urgency ought to light a fire of motivation under each of us.  Time is short.  Life races by.  And because of that, we need to make the most of the days we have.  We have to carry out our purpose.  We must make our contribution to this world and to the people around us.  God didn't create us and send His Son to save us so we can lazily sit around on our posteriors doing nothing of significance.  No, not at all!  He put each of us here to do something.  So what are we waiting for?  Time is running out.  Let's get busy.  Let's get moving.  Let's fulfill the purpose for which God put each of us here in the first place.

Jim's right.  Remember his words.  "Go ahead and do whatever you gotta do."

What God Has Been Teaching Me

Recently, I turned 47 years old.  Along with that, I've reflected on some of the things God has been teaching me so far.  There's no doubt I have A LOT more to learn in life.  But here are just a few things that have started to make some sense along the way...

IT FEELS GOOD TO WORK.  Here's a confession:  I don't think I truly began to understand what real labor was until 4 years ago.  Now I work multiple jobs, and I love it.  Being productive and having my hands in several projects gives me a satisfying feeling.  I don't think God put us on this planet to lay around lazily.  Not at all!  So let's maximize our opportunities and utilize our abilities.  Let's do something with our lives and leave this world a better place than it was when we entered it.

I NEED THE CHURCH.  Regardless of whether I'm a pastor or not, I need to be around other believers.  Encouragement, guidance, accountability, and inspiration are just a few of the multiple benefits that come out of spending time with brothers and sisters in Christ.  No, the church isn't perfect.  But she is the bride of Christ.  She is precious to Him; therefore, she is also to be precious to us.  And being a part of this body of believers makes us better along the journey of life.  Let's be an active part of His church. 

I WANT TO DEAL WITH MY OWN ISSUES INSTEAD OF GETTING WORKED UP ABOUT YOURS.  We all stumble and fall one way or another.  We all make wrong choices and do wrong things.  Because of that, I think it's better for me to just deal with my own struggles rather than give you a hard time about yours.  I'm not in a position to criticize and judge you when I have my own shortcomings.  Let's all deal with the person who stares back at us in the mirror before we even think of dealing with other people about their flaws and quirks.

I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE MYSELF RATHER THAN BEAT MYSELF UP FOREVER ABOUT FAILURES.  At times, I've been hard on myself.  Even after receiving forgiveness from Jesus, family, and friends, I still wouldn't let go of my guilt.  But over time, God and family have helped me to forgive myself and move on with life.  We can't charge into the future if we're still holding onto the past.  Let's confess our sins to God and receive His forgiveness.  Then we need to forgive ourselves and let it go.

I CAN'T SPEND MY DAYS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME.  When it's all said and done, what God thinks of me is far more important than what people think of me.  And I've realized that living for the approval of other people is an exhausting exercise that never really ends or satisfies.  Let's all live for God's pleasure and approval through Jesus Christ.  What He thinks of us is what matters most in life.  As long as we are right with Him and walking in His will, we are exactly where we need to be.  And that's what ultimately matters most. 

Those are just some of the things God has been teaching me in my life.  Hopefully He will continue to help me learn more lessons along the way.  Learning from Him makes our lives so much better.

May He continue to teach you and bless you as well!!

Fellowship Over Chicken Wings

I was the only white guy there.

Recently I went to visit an elderly lady who has poor health.  When I knocked on the door and was welcomed into home, I met about six people who were all very kind.  They were all African American, and I only knew one of them.  For a moment, we all stood there quietly and awkwardly. 

Then I noticed a plate on the table.  "Hey, are those Leo's Chicken Wings?", I asked.  One of the young men responded, "Yeah, they are.  Want one?"  I thought for half a second and said, "Sure, that sounds great!"

Then, they started passing out plates and napkins.   One of the wonderful hosts gave me a chair.  Then we all sat there together and ate chicken wings.  While we ate, we told stories, laughed, and had a blast.  It went from a silent room to a joyful place of fellowship.  I had a wonderful time with my new friends,  and I'll always remember it.

That whole experience reminded me of something important:  If we human beings will just sit down and talk with each other, we usually can find common ground and similar interests.  Though we may look different and have varying backgrounds, most of us are alike in many ways.  Most of us want our families to be ok, our bills to be paid, and our communities to be safe.  Most of us want to have purpose, hope, peace, joy, and strength.   And most of us just want to get along with our fellow man.

What I'm saying is regardless of whether we're black, white, rich, poor, Democrat, Republican, educated, uneducated, liberal, conservative, or whatever, we can usually get along with each other if we just put a little effort into it.  Let's sit and listen.  Let's try to understand each other.  And let's remember that the world will be a much happier place if we learn to calmly co-exist together.

I'm not so naive to think a plate of chicken wings is the key to world peace.  Things can be way more complex than that.  But I do believe with all my heart that if people would sit down and communicate with one another, usually some common ground will be discovered and a bond can be formed.  

Most importantly,  if we look to God, He can pull us together and make us one.  After all, when you and I both seek Him, it becomes obvious we're a lot more alike than we are different.  And that makes it easier for us to get along and work together.

The Right Kind Of Church

We've got a Presbyterian church here in our neighborhood.  It's right around the corner.  Almost daily, I pass by it in my car.  But it wasn't until last weekend I noticed something on it's sign out front.  In big letters I could see the name of the church.  But underneath, in small letters, I finally saw this little message:  "A Place Of Grace".

I don't know much about that church.  No clue who the pastor is.  No idea what the budget might be.  No guess as to how many people attend its services.  But I do know this for sure:  A place of grace is the right kind of church.

See, we're all sinners.  I know I am.  And so are you.  We've all done wrong.  We've all made poor choices.  We've all missed the mark.  But the great thing about God is He forgives us and wipes our guilt away.  He doesn't hold our wrongdoings over our head.  And He doesn't expect us to live eternally in shame.  When we confess our sins to us, He forgives.  And He treats us far better than we deserve.  That's what grace is.  And it really is an amazing thing!!

So because God shows us grace, we also need to show each other grace.  That's what a good church does.  People fail.  People do dumb things.  People make foolish decisions.  And we have a choice:  We can beat up on these people, condemn them, and kick them while they're down, OR we can love them unconditionally, offer them forgiveness, and point them to our loving God who has all the blessings they could ever want. 

The older I get, and the more life experiences I have, the more I'm a grace guy.  Yep, I'm really thankful for God's grace in my life.  I'd be lost without it!  And I really want to show grace to others.  I want to show them forgiveness, love, and help, because that's exactly what God has shown me.  And I firmly believe with all my heart that no matter who they are, where they've been, or what they've done, the church should be the one place where they're welcomed, treated with kindness, and offered a word of hope. 

So may all of our churches here in Sumter, and around the world, be places of grace.  Let's share with others what  God has shared with us.  It'll bless people more than anything else we give them.

One Day At A Time

Recently I was sitting alone in a Mexican restaurant and enjoying a delicious lunch.  When I finished my meal, I sat there quietly and started thinking about my life.  Things I needed to do.  Places I needed to go.  Issues I needed to handle.  Challenges I needed to overcome.  All of these different thoughts were going through my head.  And I found myself not wanting to get out of my booth.  It was kind of like I just wanted to stay put and hide from life a little while longer.

As I sat there, I just froze.  I started feeling overwhelmed.  My life was feeling like an uncontrollable avalanche, and I started thinking, "Man, this is just too much for me to handle."

It was at this time that the waitress walked by my table.  I suppose my face was showing how I felt on the inside because she looked at me and asked, "Hey, are you ok?"   I responded, "I'm just feeling overwhelmed with life right now."  Then she smiled and said something I'll never forget, "You just gotta live one day at a time."

Wow.

She was right, you know?!

Sometimes it can be a lot to process when we start thinking about all the things going on in our lives.  Things can begin to feel like a bit much.  The big picture can be overwhelming.

But when we live one day at a time, we're just calmly taking one small step after another. And we're not worrying about crossing bridges we haven't even approached yet.  Rather than stressing over the multiple issues we must address in our lives, we're instead dealing with a single issue right here and right now.  That's a little easier to manage, you know?!

When that waitiress said that, I was encouraged.  The dark clouds started drifting away and sunshine re-enetered my heart.  And I felt energized.  So I got up, paid the bill, left her a tip, headed out the door, and got back to work.  Simply put, my day was changed when I was reminded of that very important lesson.

Are you feeling overwhelmed with your life?  If so, let me assure you that we all feel that way at times.  You're not alone.  It happens.  But the good news is this:  You can find peace of mind.  Look to God and whisper a prayer.  Accept the fact that yesterday is over and tomorrow hasn't even arrived yet.  And decide to focus solely on today.  When you do this, you're living one day at a time.  And doing that will make your life so much calmer and better.

Just Like The Old Man

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  Others have had the same experience in their own lives.  And I reckon it's probably inevitable.  What am I talking about?  Well, it's simply this:  I'm turning into my dad.

Seriously.  I'm noticing it in a few areas here and there.  And my kids are pointing it out to me at times too.

It's not that I'm trying to do this.  And I'm certainly not opposed to it either.  But it's just happening naturally without me thinking about it.

For instance....

It seems that daily I'm walking around my house and turning off lights that kids leave on.  "We're running up the power bill around here people", I'll announce loud enough for everyone to hear.  Dad did that.

Last night I was sitting on the couch watching a PBS documentary about South Carolina wildlife.  My oldest daughter, Katie, said, "You're watching that?  Wow, you're turning into Wade Richardson for sure."  See, Dad watches that kind of stuff all the time.

When my son, Emerson, pours a glass of milk and only drinks half of what he poured, I'll say, "Come on, man, you're wasting money right there."  Dad said that to me quite often about drinks and food when I was growing up in his house.  He'd always say, "Take what you want, but eat what you take." 

I like to drive with my knees and back into parking spaces.  Dad does that.

I listen to Garrison Keillor's "Tales Of Lake Wobegon" and enjoy every second of it.  Does does that.

I enjoy science fiction movies and quirky comedies.  Dad does that.

And I find myself caring less and less about what other people think of me.  Dad really does that!!

These are just some of the many things I and others have noticed.  And maybe you're going through the same thing.  It seems like a lot of us somewhat turn into a version of our parents.  I've heard plenty of women say, "Wow, I'm turning into my mom."  So yeah, it's kind of a common thing.

But you know what I've noticed?  The greatest person we can become more like ... is God.  He's our Heavenly Father, and if we become like him, that's a game changer. 

I like what Paul wrote here in Ephesians 5:1-2  -- "Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love."  Did you see that?  We're really becoming more and more like God when we love.  In other words, when we treat people right, we're "imitators" of our Heavenly Father.

Do you want to become more like your Heavenly Dad?  Then try loving on people.  Be patient with folks who are difficult.  Be forgiving towards those who royally mess up.  Be helpful to those who are in need.  Be encouraging to those who are down in the dumps.  Just treat people right.

Don't be so doggone critical, harsh, cruel, bitter, impatient, cold, and difficult.  That's not love.  And that's nothing like God.  There's already too much of that stuff in the world, and we'd be better off with less of it.  Choose a better way!!  Choose love.  Treat people right.  Be a blessing to folks.  Make days better for others.  When you do that, people will see a reflection of God shining in you.  And their lives will be better off because of it.

Yep, it's a simple fact of life:  We're most like the Heavenly Father when we love people.  So let's do that today, with His help from above.  Loving on folks will make the world a better place.  And it'll help others see what God is really like.